Saturday, February 12, 2011

Are You Done Now?

One Of Americas Largest Families - The Bates

Most have you will have guessed by the title of this post what I am talking about!  I was completely surprised at having this question directed at myself and Brian since the birth of our daughter six weeks ago.  It completely caught us off guard!  We thought that only families with four or more got asked this question!

The last incident occured several days ago, where an unknown man congratulated us on the birth of our daughter.  He then proceeded to ask us "So are you done now?", whilst looking at our other two children.  I'm sure that the gentleman in question was not meaning to sound rude; but to me it was very close to it!  Is it now acceptable to openly question a strangers choice regarding the number of children they wish to have?  Is hoping for more children really that shocking?  Is it not thought offensive to ask that question in front of our children or at all?

Is three really that many?

My husband and I decided some time ago that we would trust the Lord with our whole lives; including the area of our fertility and family size.  Our family has studied the Bible in depth on this topic and are convicted that our Lord is the one who opens and closes the womb and that the Bible teaches against abortion and all forms birth control.  From our understanding of the Bible we believe that the only times a man and wife are instructed to abstain from intimate relations with one another is for: seven specific days during a womans monthly cycle, after the birth of a child and during times of marital stress; not to avoid pregnancy.  As Bible believing Christians we understand that children are blessings bestowed upon us by our Heavenly Father.  We seek to wholeheartedly receive each 'gift' from Him with praise and thankfulness.

So No...Lord willing, we are NOT done!

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are]children of the youth. 
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
KJV - Psalm 127: 3-5


Chelle said...

I agree. I hate it when you go to the store and someone says,Are all those yours? How do you afford them. My answer is always the same. They are a blessing to us and the Lord provides. I think it is wonderful. I would love to have more.

Elizabeth said...

Goodness Sarah! Don't you know that you're overpopulating the earth?! And what about your gigantic carbon footprint!!?

All teasing aside, people really do surprise me. Just the other day I went into a shop. I had my 17 mo son and my (then) 3yo daughter with me. The clerk looked at them and said, "Oh my, you really have your hands full!" I hope I didn't seem rude, but I was honestly taken aback! My hands full with just TWO?! I nearly had to resuscitate her when I told her I only had half my kids with me since my 7 and 6 yos were at piano lessons!

Sometimes good-hearted people ask if you're done just to make small talk. After all, most people would answer a vehement YES! Some people ask out of curiosity. Some people ask to give you their opinion: that you have too many. All of them just don't understand that it's NONE of their business!!

Elizabeth said...

btw, I like the Duggars, but I think I like the Bates even better. Maybe it's because we're from sort of close to the same region of the U.S.? Who knows. :-)

Sarah said...

Thank you for your comments ladies! Its nice to know that other families get this too. In our own country it seems as though you are only socially 'allowed' three children but after that you must just be plain crazy! In actual fact we only personally know of one family, who has more than three children!

I like the Bates family too Elizabeth; they seem a little more down-to-earth than the Duggars. I did enjoy watching the episode of the Duggars on which the Bates received a home extension! What a blessing to them!

Erin said...

We have gotten so many of those comments that I am quick to add that this is what we have so far. Most people assume we are done b/c we got a girl after 3 boys. And I really don't like it when people say, "You finally got a girl." I guess I would've gotten a lot of pity remarks if I had 4 boys. If, we do get to have 5 or more, I can just imagine the comments that will be made. I'm so surprised you were given those comments w/just 3 children. Whenever I get the comments that my hands must be full, I just say that they are full of fun, or love.